Splinter Journal

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MY WALK-IN EXPERIENCE

MY WALK-IN EXPERIENCE

* I choose to remain anonymous so in this account I call the previous soul that inhabited my body “Sarah,” and me, the current soul I simply refer to as “me.”

 

BACKGROUND

It’s hard to know when exactly it all began, because this body and the soul that previously inhabited it started to prepare for the transfer at about 21 years old, five years before the actual transfer. Sarah began to vigorously read about a lifestyle choice called Voluntary Simplicity, and become more health conscious and active. She had been active while growing up, but became even more so in the years before the transfer. Also, she began to journal more during this time than before. She had some challenges socially speaking, specifically with romantic male-female relationships, so by journaling she could work it out with herself and attempted to figure out why. This worked on an unconscious level, and helped guide her to the transfer.

 

In the spring of 2001, she met a man who she felt a deep connection with. This is the first time she felt close to a man and the promise for a symbiotic beneficial relationship. Her future seemed bright. Unfortunately though, after dating for about five months the normal patterns of co-dependency and low self worth crept back in, and that in combination with his issues and inability to communicate effectively was the catalyst towards her depression end ultimately the end of their relationship. She began taking medication, doing yoga, and trying to fix this depression with an even cleaner lifestyle. Unfortunately this was not enough to resolve their relationship issues and her depression. It’s clear to me now that her knowledge of the transfer was causing a struggle between who she was then and who she was becoming, which is why there was such sadness about the breakup. She didn’t want to break up, but she didn’t know how to stay together. He had a huge role in the transfer, but his connection was more with me than her, but I’ll get to that later.

 

After the break up and she had moved out, she moved in with a wealthy family who needed housecleaning, and was willing to offer her a room in their house in trade for her help. These people were spiritual, and she felt like they could help her progress and mature on a deeper level. They seemed to fully except her, even though she was in a completely different class. They were into Eastern religion, they had a room for meditation and their lingo was new agey.  I didn’t see “him,” again, my ex whom we will call “John,” again until the beginning of the transfer.

 

She only lived there a month in total. The first week or two she was settling in and learning the house. At the same time, she began to journal excessively. In fact, it was less about her life and more about philosophy and spiritual laws…things that she wanted to share with others. She continued to eat well and exercise often, and was still doing yoga for depression. These things all rev up and clean out the body’s energy blockages. Her depression began to subside, so she began to taper off her antidepressant, which she hated taking anyway (She’s so much like me. haha). She also noticed that there was less dusting to do, less cleaning, like she was getting help from some unseen force. Life became effortless. She began to miss John, too. She realized that she still had strong feelings for him and wished to reconnect.

 

THE WEEK BEFORE TRANSFER

Ok, this is where the story gets kinda crazy. Some things I say from here on out might not make much sense or have meaning to anyone but me. But it was all a part of the process and I want to recount it so that people know what may happen if this happens to them, and that it may not all make sense outwardly. On Saturday May 25th Sarah took a long hike at a nearby park. In total it was 10 miles.  At this point she began to lose touch with this reality, this life. This was the beginning.

 

Sarah liked coffee and hanging out at coffee shops and would do this regularly. Strange things began to happen (this was the third week after the breakup, and into her new living situation, the third week of May 2002). She would be talking to a stranger and after engaging in a little conversation with them a new entity or spirit would emerge. It was not scary, in fact they were familiar, and it was a comforting experience and they felt like kindred spirits, guides. Also, once a stranger came into her place of work and proclaimed that he loved her and that God had told him they were supposed to be together. Sure, these things happen to crazy people, but it clearly was not mental illness. It was the energy about her, the glow, the happiness that she was finding in not being depressed and it was affecting other people as well. Along with these odd events she began missing John more and more.

 

MAY 31

This is where I consider the true beginning of the transfer. Her mind began to get wild and crazy, then something…I call them “scripts” began to happen. In her head (I know, because I was there, with her) she had this story going on that she was supposed to meet Peter at the Pearly Gates in Heaven. So after work on a Friday, May 31st to be exact, she was prompted to drive to a nearby park where John and she used to spend a lot of time together. She felt compelled to share with him some of the insights she was being given. He was a runner and enjoyed the trails there quite frequently. As she approached the gate, he came out of the forest on the trail. In her mind, she was at the Pearly Gates and he was Peter. She was incredibly happy to see him, but he not so much her! This script was most definitely not going on in his head, and he said hello and left. Not sure actually if there was more that was said. I can look back in the journals to see. Regardless, nothing monumental happened. She went home slightly disappointed that he did not share the enthusiasm of their momentary reuniting.

At home, more incredible things happened. She began to clean and clean and clean. She organized, she tossed away, she was going through and detaching from her earthly possessions. She was beginning the death and letting go process for her life and she was mentally willing away her things. There was no debating or him-hawing around. It was clear that most of her possessions were not hers and she no longer needed them. She disposed of the rest of her antidepressants. She felt exuberant and alive, full of energy for the first time since she could remember.

 

She spent some time in the basement that evening to be by herself, as she wasn’t sure what was going on. She was acquiring more and more special abilities, specifically the abilities to read minds and sense things were going to happen. She experienced telekinesis. She was also being led to do odd things. For instance, she sent money (around $100) to someone who was a complete stranger. She was assisting in God winks.  Also it was this time that she was introduced to me and my name. She realized that she was not alone. I had been with her for a full week before the transfer happened, trying on the body, the life.

 

It was stormy out that night. She “lost” it, but not in the common sense of the word. Emotion poured out of her body and she cried and cried. It was a purging, releasing of years of accumulated emotions and memories. She also found herself stretched out on her bed, forming different poses. These poses helped her release what had been held in her muscles for years. Also, she felt herself traveling down a black tunnel, feeling squeezed, then emerging with a sense of relief and she saw sparkles, sparks or stars (I’ve always described it as stars, but not the five sided figures kids draw. It was more eruptions of light). Exhausted, she finally stopped crying, and this came to her mind: “This is what I have been waiting for all my life. I’m in Heaven now,” then she fell asleep.

 

JUNE 1ST

The next morning she felt renewed and completely pure. She decided to go on a walk. The home she had moved into after the break up was along a greenway that led to a park. She left the house without shoes, her contacts, or even appropriate clothing (and we never do that ;   ) and walked along the greenway until she came to a bench by a lake. Along the way she felt lightweight and radiant. At the bench she felt a sense of death and like she was going to die, yet she was not afraid and was able to just surrender. She sat in the lotus position (even though she had not been taught this yet in yoga class), and slowly became numb from her hips all the way up to the top of her head. She saw different moments in her life, interactions with people where “Christ” was reaching out to her and coaxing her to him. It’s like life was an elaborate play and everyone was God but in disguise as different persons. They were actors in this play. The purpose of this play/life was for her to be “saved.” Also, John had numerous tattoos and she was led through each one and was giving it’s meaning and significance. It felt like she was leaving through her head. Some type of astral travel happened, but I don’t have memory of it. This may be when she left the body because she went through a detachment from the body and then left, although I was not fully integrated in the body yet. However this is the most logical moment to assume I came more fully in control of the body, so from here on I will refer to who is in the body as me.

 

I find it amazing that she was in a park and there were others walking by but either did not hear or see her or didn’t care to interfere with her experience. The same was true the night before when she experienced the emotional release. There were people in her house but no one was aware of what happened. Looking back on it, it’s clear to me that God protects those who are going through this experience. It’s like they enter an alternate universe or dimension for a time. I began to make my way back to the house. I noticed that people either smiled at me or seemed to not see me at all. It seemed that I had entered into a new dimension, but still was able to access and interact with the old as well.

 

I made my way back to the house slowly and with intention. It was as though I was a part of everything and time slowed.  I could see the inner workings of nature around me. I took a shower and could see each individual droplet of water in slow motion. The world around me was teeming with symbolism and deeper meaning. I walked downstairs where my roommates were sitting at a table playing a game. One of them later said they simply thought I had come downstairs for a towel. I was naked. At that point I didn’t see a point in clothing. I had nothing to hide and felt like pure light, beautiful, completely and simply me. They didn’t quite see it the same way… They assumed something was wrong, grabbed a towel and led me back upstairs.

 

When upstairs they helped me dress and asked me if I was ok. At that point it became more of a spiritual emergency, rather than spiritual emergence. When you’re going through this it is IMPOSSIBLE to effectively interact with others because all your energy is directed towards this process you are going through. Of course now I realize this is the walk-in transfer process.  I got hot and sweat began rolling down my body profusely like I had never seen before. I began to shake. I didn’t want this process to stop, whatever it was I was going through. I didn’t know what it was at the time. It was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced, yet it was agonizing. I felt like I was a sponge being rung out. I was completely wide open. I was experiencing anguish and the full effects of the soul transfer process.

 

I felt God all around me, in a pantheistic way everything was God, I was God. The lady of the house talked a bit, but I could not answer verbally. At that point I became unable to talk, but only after I called her God…which upped my standing as a mentally ill and crazed out of touch with reality psycho chick! After it was clear to them that something was wrong with me (in their view) they tried to get me to drink something but I would not take it in. Instinctively I knew that if I were to eat or drink anything at that point it would stop the process and be incomplete, fragmented. I knew something incredible was happening and didn’t want it to stop.

 

So they determined I was not cooperative and I needed help so they proceeded to begin the trek to a hospital. I knew, like taking in anything by mouth, that a trip to the hospital would surely not be a good thing, but I could not talk. When they started to drag me, I slipped out of the body and it became limp which allowed them to take me. On the way to the hospital from in the car to later that night I remember seeing my surroundings, but my eyes were closed the majority of the time. I was out of the body.

 

I was taken into the ER, they checked the usual, which are the standard causes for altered consciousness: drugs, pregnancy, head trauma, etc. During this time, I’m still confused at whom all where there with me as guides, Sarah, and me. There was a voice in my head that was not mine. I believe Sarah was still partially in the body, and I was there trying to enter, but had not completely entered yet. UNTIL… THE NEEDLE. They were testing me for spinal meningitis. Pain is an excellent way to draw you back into the body. They collected spinal fluid and sent it to the lab, only to come back later and announce that I had spinal meningitis. In my head I heard “I know I don’t have spinal meningitis”. Not sure which of us said that, but we both felt the same, and knew they were trying to explain what was happening. Later they came back and said that the lab results had been wrong and I didn’t have spinal meningitis. Really? Lol Another thought that ran through my head while they were holding me hostage was “when I pee I know I am dead.” Shortly after that I urinated and completely relaxed my body (I had an indwelling urinary catheter). So someone (Sarah) I was still going though the death process to detach from the body.

 

The only thing the hospital knew to do since they could not find anything wrong with me except slightly elevated vital signs, sunburn, and dehydration was to send me to a psych hospital. So there I went. I still was not able to talk, although my strength was improving.

 

I arrived at the psych hospital, waited in the waiting room, then proceeded to see a mental health evaluator. I kept telling him that this was a test and I wondered when it would end. When would this state end? This heightened spiritual state. Of course psych hospitals have one job, and one job only. It’s not to indulge in your spiritual experiences but to make you stable, evaluate you, and move you on. I stayed there for a few days before my parents made a visit to pick me up. When I was signing out I was in a more stable state because although I knew I was a different person, I also knew I had to sign the original occupant’s name, the name this body/life was given at birth. If not, I’m not sure I would have been cleared to leave.

 

THE AFTERMATH

After arriving eight hours away back in my hometown I spent the next three months trying to regain some sort of mental and spiritual stability. I was still very ungrounded, and believed that God would provide for my needs so I did not consider working again. The structure of having a job seemed to constricting to my spiritual development. I still had many moments of psychic phenomena that honestly, while it seems desirable, can be quite terrifying if you’re not ready for it.

 

Sometimes I wonder if I had been with people who knew what was happening and how to help me if maybe the transfer would have been more complete and less traumatic. I find that I blame myself for being slightly misaligned with the stars or not being spiritually developed enough which created a less than perfect transfer. But I would not take back the experience for anything, of course. Because I’m here, now. And being a walk-in is a truly amazing experience.

 

I wonder about the reason this body, this life was chosen to be a walk-in body. At this point in time I don’t remember anything from my existence before I entered this life, like where I came from, or what the soul agreement was. It seems that the previous occupant had completed her mission because she wrapped up here life so smoothly and with intent and happiness right after the break up. It was a God experience, with no fear or regret. So why did I choose to come into this body and continue, this life? Here’s what I have come up with:

 

This body has been vegetarian all its life, and sometimes vegan. Significant? Does this body operate differently?

This body had never used drugs of any kind except for prescription medications on occasion before the transfer. Nothing.

Sarah journaled extensively from being a teenager on. It gives a life record. Not sure how she knew to do that. I still have these journals to refer to. It also helped guide her to the transfer. How did she know to do that?

It has something to do with John. Ok, let’s go there.

 

John. When Sarah met John something wonderful happened. It was even more subconscious than conscious although we both felt it playing out on the physical plane. He was the main catalyst, the igniter, a facilitator of the transfer experience. It’s like Sarah’s life had always had been working up to the point where she would meet him. He was the link between she and me.

 

Sarah lived with John for eight months before their break up and her moving out. He seemed to be a very old soul, but yet still human so he definitely had his issues. I still believe he was highly spiritual, and provided a spark for Sarah, just as a previous relationship he spoke about and ruminated over often had provided the same for him. It was specific things about his personality, his body, and his life that were significant during the transfer process and was my guide for arriving at the right place and time. Hence he was definitely key for both of us. Shortly after all this I went to a psychic to answer some questions and she told me that John had been with me in two other lifetimes. It’s clear to me now that our romantic connections can be transformative. Or, is it that when we are in this process we attract a certain person with certain energy? Or does there even need to be another person, a catalyst involved in the process?

 

Ok. Those reasons listed above about why I came into this body, with the exception of John, are very external and shallow. How about me and my mission here on earth? What am I here for? Well, maybe there are clues in how I have changed since walking in. 

 

RELIGION

I am more interested in Eastern religions than I am the sect of Christianity that this life and its family has a history of. I have respect for it, but just can’t make my beliefs fit in the church’s beliefs, and no matter how hard I try to be either in or out of that denomination and Christianity, I can’t totally leave it or be a part of it. This might be a clue, or it could just be residual beliefs held in the body from the previous occupant. I am attracted to how much more information and guidance Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism give the seeker on how to refine the mind and prepare for the afterlife, all the while having a deep and meaningful experience here on earth. Christianity seems to be more about toil and trouble for some reward later and does not instruct as much about evolving and sharpening the mind. I just don’t believe that’s what God intends for us.

 

WORK

Before the transfer I worked as a graphic designer. The transfer brought about change in how I relate to money, my ability to work with other people, and what I believe my mission is. My desire to work as a graphic designer waned, and I was open to other careers. It’s true that a lot of people like me take up doing odd and random things for income, however I have an inability to tolerate stress that prevents me from doing this. I did go into a helping profession and have a low stress position (relatively speaking). I still feel that I was meant to live the eclectic simple life, but barring necessary healing and reintegration within me that won’t be possible.  

 

LIFESTYLE

I have a huge desire to live communally. I crave the feeling of being one with other like minded people and working together for the collective good. Unfortunately because of reasons I don’t completely understand I have not been able to make this a reality in my life. I just keep the hope that things can happen suddenly and healing may open this opportunity up for me.